The Birthday Post (55 days smoke-free)
This is the story of Smokey Joe, who might sound like a bear but is as cuddly as a cub.
The Smokey Home was a happy one, Papa Smokey and Mamma Smokey had just finished putting away the decorations for the New Year celebrations and were feeling a bit nostalgic, it was 1979 already.. they reflected upon their lives together for a brief instant before trying to get Big Sister Smokey to shut the fuck up so they could watch some TV. The day is finally over and mostly due to an excess of wine the two of them feeling a bit amorous finally get some time alone.
Zoom forward 9 months to the day and the arrival of baby Smokey no2. “A SON!” Papa Smokey yelled in the middle of a somewhat disturbingly empty hospital.. while he was passing cigars and spreading some of the smokey joy the Smokey family was so well known for. “And he shall be named .. Jesus” – “Woah Papa Smokey..” – “Too religious?” – “A tad” – “And he shall be named.. Joe” and so he was.
Young Smokey Joe wasn’t great at sports, in fact he was horrible, partly due to the fact that he didn’t give a flying fuck for most of them but also due to his
wimpy delicate physique. But his mind, such a scientific and artistic mind.. oh my! A poet, award winning author, published scientist, playwright, photographer and movie director… all wrote books that he owned!
His first few years were otherwise uninteresting but on graduating high-school he decided to be all he could be, so 17-yo Smokey Joe joined the army, where he wasted two years of his precious life being a lot less than he could be.. Something wonderful did however come from his time in the military, living up to his family name he picked up a little habit known as smoking, can you kids say smoking? Returning home smoking Smokey Joe got a warm welcome and an offer he couldn’t refuse: A little time abroad to further his horizons, take in a whole new experience, be all he could be.. someplace else.. or study to become a physicist!
He took life by the horns and spanked it’s bottom, becoming the first ever student at his school to graduate cum-laude… but after repeating a year! The days leading to his graduation Smokey Joe was working at bar, serving drinks to drunkards and drunkards to drinks, that’s where she met Mrs-Smokey-Joe-Wonnabe-but-best-known-as-Lifesucking-Bitch, hmm, let’s call her Smokey
Bitch Suzan for short. Smokey Joe and Smokey Suzan fell instantly in lust love and build a long lasting relationship based on sex common interests.
While smoking Smokey Joe was browsing the internet, chances being, for some good wholesome porn, he stumbles on advertisement for electronic cigarettes, being ever the geek he looks them up and ends up buying a starter kit from China. It arrives just 5 weeks later and poor Smokey Joe starts experimenting with vaping.
A Year later, Smokey Joe is an avid closet vaper, he’s in really bad, he’s got battery mods, boxmods, atty mods, big batteries, small batteries, fat batteries, skinny batteries.. let’s not even get started on his prefer method of vaping.. dripping is dangerous kids, don’t try it at home.
After a horrific blow-out Smokey Joe and Smokey Suzan part ways, with a lot of angst and anger on both sides (besides it being all Smokey Suzan’s fault) Smokey Joe finds himself single and homeless! He spends that evening and the following two at Smokey Friend with Dog’s place where he decides he needs to redefine himself.
He picks himself up and on that same day takes a lease on a new flat, no furniture, no comfort.. but at least it’s a roof, he tosses his trusty pack out the window, denies his family and refuses his name (small aside to mention that this is the first time ever Shakespeare has been useful to me) thus giving way to the creation of Joe Vaper, your friendly average Vaping Joe (GO JOE). He is now vaping freely and openly, with a new found confidence he should have found years ago..
Thus ends the story of Joe Vaper, oh wait, what is he doing now you wonder?
Joe Vaper has been smoke-free for more days that he has fingers to count, he’s working and has recently bought a bed, although to his surprise “Hey baby, wonna go to my place and try out my new bed?” has not delivered any results! And we should mention, that today marks the 32nd anniversary of his birth, yes siree, today he is 28 for the 4th time.. and happy to be vaping
Title Shot by: Omer Wazir